"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free hishands for masturbation." ― Lily Tomlin

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life standsexplained. ― Mark Twain

Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?A. None. It's a hardware problem.

Deprive a mirror of its silver, and even the Czar won't see his face.

I'm making wine at home, but I make it out of raisins, so it'll be agedautomatically. ― Steven Wright

First Law of Socio-Genetics: Celibacy is not hereditary.