Dobbin's Law: When in doubt, use a bigger hammer.

We have met the enemy and he is us ― Walt Kelly (in POGO)

If one year is seven dog years, then one day is a dog week.

Denniston's Law: Virtue is its own punishment.

Anybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I'm concerned ― Isupport your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if youexhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish toshare your dogma, rapture or necrodestination. ― Frank Zappa, "The Real Frank Zappa Book"

The difference between sympathy and empathy is three letters: "yes". ― P. Taylor

There is no substitute for good manners, except, perhaps, fast reflexes.

These patriots don't mince words... Okay, sure, they ARE dangerous,hopelessly ignorant, inbred, retarded borderline lunatics with aninsatiable lust for the blood of sinners ― but at least they're HONESTabout it. ― Reverend Ivan Stang, cofounder of the Church of the Subgenius, about a group known as Free Love Ministries, in his book _High Weirdness By Mail_