Deprive a mirror of its silver, and even the Czar won't see his face.

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.

Boy, n.: A noise with dirt on it.

"I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous."

Is that a real poncho? I mean, is that a Mexican poncho or a Sears poncho?Hmmm... No fooling. ― Frank Zappa, "Camarillo Brillo"

To steal from one person is theft. To steal from many is taxation. ― Daiell's Law (a take-off on Felson's Law)

Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the miseryof another.

Morality is one thing. Ratings are everything. ― A Network 23 executive on "Max Headroom"

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!""However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me asense of obligation." ― Stephen Crane

Wozencraft's Law: If you make all of your plans on the assumption that aparticular thing won't happen―it will.


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