Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's ownopinion. ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, ofpre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell youthat I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomicglobule. Consequently, my family pride is something inconceivable. I can'thelp it. I was born sneering. ― Pooh-Bah, "The Mikado", Gilbert & Sullivan

Malek's Law: Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.

Suppose two-thirds of the members of the national House of Representativeswere dumped into the Washington garbage incinerator tomorrow, what would welose to offset our gain of their salaries and the salaries of their parasites? ― H. L. Mencken, "Prejudices, Fourth Series" (1924)

It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong. ― Norm Schryer

READ UNHAPPY - MAKNAM ― LISP 1.5

Hlade's Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person ― theywill find an easier way to do it.

Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.

Call on God, but row away from the rocks. ― Indian proverb