Cynic, n.: A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, notas they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of pluckingout a cynic's eyes to improve his vision. ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side itis buttered on. ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see: "We are the proud parents of a childwhose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minorscholastic achievements on the back of our car." ― George Carlin

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown withgreat force. ― Dorothy Parker, on Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged"

One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we've been bamboozledlong enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We're nolonger interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has capturedus. it is simply too painful to acknowledge ― even to ourselves ― thatwe've been so credulous. (So the old bamboozles tend to persist as thenew bamboozles rise.) ― Carl Sagan, "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection," Parade, February 1, 1987

Don't worry about things that you have no control over, because you have nocontrol over them. Don't worry about things that you have control over,because you have control over them. ― Mickey Rivers

Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.

Menu: A list of dishes which the restaurant has just run out of.

No guts, no glory.

Any shrine is better than self-worship.